Just filled out the GitHub Sponsorship application

but why do I feel so cheap and undeserving

Vivek tl;dr: I should keep working on PorNo!, build a business model around it, and get a job.

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I work on PorNo!, a porn blocking Chrome Extension and Android app (GitHub link, origin story).

At this time of writing, I haven’t made any money on PorNo!. I ran ads for a while via AdMob, but got banned before my first payout due to an “Invalid Activity” violation (sad). Business ideas are on my todo list, we will see what happens.

Aside, I ran into some GitHub accounts that have “Sponsorship” on them recently. I figured that we can at least create a stream of potential money while we work on the business model, and so I started filling out the Sponsorship application.

Filling out the application was easy and straightforward. I really liked how each task (sponsor tiers, Stripe payment information, tax info) was sectioned off and turned green once completed.

I didn’t like how I felt during the whole process.

GitHub: “In your bio, explain why sponsorship is important to you.”
My thoughts: “….so I can, get gas? And visit my friends? Spend money on food? I mean, I would spend the money on a domain name and a server for a marketing website I suppose.”

GitHub: “You can offer various sponsorship tiers.”
My thoughts: “I guess a $5 tier would provide a ‘Sponsor’ badge to the donor. But, can I personally justify taking someone’s money on a project that only works in a technical scope and hasn’t been proven to help people with their porn habits?”

“Am I really about to go through a formal process just to ask random people for money? I feel like a freeloader, like a kind of beggar, especially because I have employable skills and the capacity to make my own money.”

To be fair, I am providing a porn blocker that operates differently than the rest of the blockers on the market, so maybe that is worth something to someone after all.

Why did I feel the way I did while registering, though? Amongst all the people on the planet that run businesses and whatnot, I personally can’t accept donations? It isn’t like my personal net worth is too high for these donations to mean anything. Plus, I haven’t received any donations yet, so why all this thinking?

What could have been changed for me to feel like I was “taking a next step and exploring an opportunity” instead of “sheesh I’m out here BEGGING”?

I think, if I was accepting money as the outcome of a business deal / model from within PorNo!, that would feel more legitimate and transactional versus “gimmie handout”. In this case, a clear action item is to start building a business model with PorNo!.

Maybe, if porn addiction, human trafficking, sexual assault / the social problems related to sexual malpractice weren’t as severe and devastating as they are in our world, and “reducing one’s porn consumption” was on the same level of “reduce one’s screen time on their phone” then the movement of money would feel chill. In the sense, I would feel better about accepting money versus it going to an NGO or a charity etc if the problem at hand was small and didn’t carry any debilitating first-order and second-order+ effects.
There isn’t an action item here. I can’t solve the aforementioned problems. Maybe talking about sexual mindfulness can help people start thinking about this stuff more, but will it be enough to “remove one from a path where their unresolved personal issues present themselves unto other people”?
No clue, but I don’t want to say that we can’t do anything, so action items = keep working on PorNo!, keep talking about it, try to donate money or volunteer for orgs working closer to the human trafficking problem.

I am also unemployed at the time of writing this, so I think that if “I was applying for sponsorship from a position of employment”, I would feel like I am just introducing a new income stream into a seemingly stable life instead of having to entertain the thought of, “Do I really plan on building a lifestyle around donations that won’t even come over getting a stable job and make significantly more money off the get-go?” Action item: get a job.

WSJ test: Would I be comfortable if the decision of setting up GitHub Sponsorships appeared on the front page of the Wall Street Journal?

Well, any press is good press, and any good press would be great press. Sigh.

It’s ok. This sponsorship thing opened up a way for people to donate if they want to.

Just felt a bit weird during the process.

Thank you for reading you are welcome to DM me at my Instagram and we can chat further about anything much love

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Sponsor me. https://github.com/sponsors/mrvivacious

View updates for PorNo! at https://www.instagram.com/mrvivacious/