PorNo!
Hello,
I made a tool called PorNo! to attempt to assist those who may have trouble with porn use/abuse/addiction.
Many blockers currently display blank screens or “Site blocked” pages, and although the site is blocked, the user’s sexual energy remains. This energy can lead to the user finding a different means of receiving pornographic satisfaction. PorNo! attempts to encourage the release of the excess sexual energy into positive and personal outlets (the links/media the users add to redirect to).
The link to the algorithm, for those interested.
I’ll explain some ideas I’ve found from my personal porn usage. I welcome you to discuss, challenge, expand, etc my ideas for you to develop a more informed understanding of porn as well.
— The majority of porn is intended to be seen by heterosexual males —
- The majority of videos of the internet’s most popular porn sites contain usually a male and a female — the conclusion made is that the majority of porn is intended for heterosexual individuals.
• Many videos demonstrate a conlusion to the video where the male ejaculates onto the female’s face, torso, chest…body. I encourage you to count the number of videos containing male onto female ejaculation and compare that to the number of videos displaying female onto male ejaculation. Which number is greater? When you consider that porn videos are directed and meant to be sold as a commidity, we conclude that the content in a porn film was intended to be there. This being considered, why do more directors intend for male onto female ejaculation over female onto male, besides the revenue potential from heterosexual males?
“Ah, but, the ejaculate has to go somewhere…this is just a creative application.”
If so, what about the disparity between the numbers we counted above?
• What about the number of male-female-female sexual scenes in porn scenes and non-porn movies? How does that compare to the number of male-male-female scenes, both in porn scenes and non-porn movies? Also consider the number of lesbian scenes in non-adult movies and contrast them with the number of male on male scenes. Quick Google searches can help. Although, I do not encourage watching porn for any purpose at all, so I suggest asking individuals you know who have seen porn/collect from your personal experiences to answer the questions I pose. Continuing, many female porn stars are bisexual. I have never seen a bisexual male act on video — this, however, can also be attributed to the fact that I’ve never intentionally viewed bisexual/homosexual male videos due to my heterosexual-ness, but the statistic is worth considering.
What does this mean?
Women watch porn as well, but they aren’t watching objectively-oriented, all audiences-intended porn.
Many females in the world who watch porn from the most popular sites are viewing porn meant to be seen by males. This means, the gender and power roles displayed, the behaviors shown by the participants in the videos, the parts highlighted by the video (“I enjoy {verb} on your {noun}…your {verb} is so {adjective}…I love blah blah…etc”) all ingrain themselves in our minds. I’ll provide examples.
— Gender and power roles —
An excerpt from a conversation I once had:
“Men were made to fuck, and women were made to be fucked.”
If you agree with this statement, I am glad I can give you something to think about.
An individual who watches scenes where the male does the most of the fucking may agree with this statement before thinking about it. The problem? Sex is generally a two person activity where both people can equally participate and share in it. Reproduction innately requires both male and female genetalia, and sex derives from the act of reproduction. One person is not practicing sex while the other exists…if this is the case for you, I can understand that your perspective arrives from your experiences, but I urge you to really consider and play with the idea of how a two-member activity by nature can be practiced by only one person.
The reinforcment of male-fucking-female in many scenes instills the idea that males are meant to lead and be dominant in sex. Suddenly, a cooperative act has become a one-sided execution!
Suppose a person views a lot of porn where one gender takes full control of sex. In this person’s next sexual encounter, s/he will either find frustration when his/her partner suggests something, or s/he will simply sit there and wait for the other to begin!
In one sentence — neither men nor women evolved to fit in a specific role during sexual intercourse.
— Behaviors displayed —
When the human mind feels great pleasure, it creates a mental association of whatever stimulated that pleaseure annotated with “source of great pleasure”. Think back to some of your favorite memories. How do you feel right now in recollection, and how does that compare to how you felt in the moment itself? For many memories, the pleasure felt in-the-moment exceeds what we are able to recollect. This is because of how the mind stores pleasing stimuli.
In the context of porn, when we climax, our mind is filled with great amounts of dopamine and other pleasure hormones. This pleasure becomes associated with the stimulus — in this case, whatever we’re seeing. If I watch 100 videos and I happen to climax during a scene of oral sex, my mind will be sure to deliver that same pleasure when I receive oral sex in real life (think premature ejaculation, to illustrate some scenarios of heightened climax-delivery). The more time spent viewing and deriving pleasure from porn, the more connections we make between great pleasure and the content viewed. This partly explains the repeatedly-found phenomena of how sexual and erotic desires and interests become more and more intense/wilder/aggressive/specific as one spends more and more time watching porn.
— Fulfilling what we see —
Building on the prior paragraph, as our pleasure maps become more and more filled with pornographic content, our desire to realize these ideas in reality become stronger and stronger. How so? Consider what parts of sexual participation excite you the most, and then consider how much of the porn you’ve seen contained scenes displaying the parts of sex you find great excitement in. When we find ourselves in real sexual experiences, our mind instructs us to make actions to encourage the experience to go a certain way, so that we can derive greater pleasure.
The problem is that this switches the focus from “enjoying sex purely by having it” to “enjoying sex by fulfilling some made-up idea my mind created, completely forgetting the fact that I am engaged in a physical relationship with someone else right now.” Now, instead of people creating a mutually-enjoyable experience for each other, we are trying to take from each other as much as we can so that we can hold onto some dopamine in our minds for a few minutes. As a bonus, consider what other parts of your life you derive pleasure from — is it because you enjoy what you do, or to fufill some made up idea? If the latter, ask yourself if there is a better, more real use of your time and energy.
— Internet prostitution —
When you access porn sites, ads sometimes show. Each ad that shows gives money to the porn site hosting the ad.
By visiting porn sites, you support porn’s finances because you allow the ads to run on your computer.
Because you are supporting porn’s finances in exchange for viewing sex, it can be roughly summarized that you pay for someone to have sex.
This is the same as prostitution. The reason I share this is because I personally began viewing porn and the adult industry differently after I realized that what I thought was “simply watching videos” was actually a form of prostitution. As I personally will not pay for sexual services, it was an eye-opener that I had been paying for sexual services looooong before I became aware of what I was doing.
Moral of story: Stop watching porn. Go outside. Build something. Write and read. Learn.
Go live your life. Every minute spent watching porn is another minute of your temporary life that you’ll never have again.
If you need more help, I’ve included phone numbers and resources in PorNo! ’s homepage (accessible only inside the app, as it exists within the app).
— Moving on —
Personally, I am trying to reach a point where I never think about porn again. Interpersonally, I want to help others who wish to overcome porn accomplish that.
Ultimately, let us all contribute to dispelling the porn industry and regain the ability to explore, create, and define freely what sex means to us without holding any fixations to the materials ingrained into us by those who perpetrate porn.
Thank you for your time,
Vivek